i’m in the mood for a boy with a deep voice to tell me nice things
and it, erm, pushes stuff up in a way that makes me look like a 19th century prostitute
possibly my favorite thing on the internet right now.
this is adorable and ridiculous. haha I wiiish I could get my boobs to look like that.
[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
i’m not a misandrist but i think it’s pretty clear men are unfit for jobs in parliment. i mean, you try to have an intellectual discusscion with them about social issues, and their first instinct is to demand if equal rights means they can punch you. their brains just aren’t wired for talking to people / thinking through problems without using violence. get back to the gym, sweetheart
i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road